I am feeling a range of emotions in this season of awakening and rebirth. I am going through great change personally and professionally as I solidify our plans for our cross country move, prepare to watch my youngest graduate high school and assume a leadership role in a school that, thus far, I have visited once. To say that I am excited would be an understatement. However, to pretend I don't have fear and worry would be disingenuous. Will Ali feel abandoned with me 2800 miles away from her freshman college experience especially as we have been in the same school building since her 2nd grade year? Will Allaster absolutely hate Southern California (he has thus far only flown through LAX.) Will I miss snow? (I don't think so, but you never know.)
This morning I watched Bene Brown's Ted Talk on vulnerability. (Warning, curse word at 7:00.) Her thoughts deeply resonated with me. We, as humans, need connection. Yet, our feelings of unworthiness can cause us shame and prevent us from connecting. In order to experience joy, we need to believe that we are worthy.
What are the implications for parenting? I believe it is important for us to show our own vulnerability to our children. We don't have the answers but we can help to navigate the murkiness. Bene Brown points out that children are hardwired for struggle. We need to allow that struggle while helping them to own their own worthiness. There is no perfect, there is human experience and boy is it complicated. But our children are worthy of experiencing joy and gratitude and throw away the notion of perfection.